after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
