i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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