OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
