Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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