I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we're making bets on your personal life
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
