We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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