I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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