dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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