can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
