Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
