Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
