i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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