just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
