I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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