It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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