Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
