I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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