My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
