I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
