I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
