i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
