I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
