peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
