$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
