how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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