Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
