don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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