What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
