Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
