Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
