im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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