I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
