I cockslap morals
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
