i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
