Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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