All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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