Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
