Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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