once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
