oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
