WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
