i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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