i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
