Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
