My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
