I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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