Me too!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
