I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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