omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
