Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
