Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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